The following remedies were published in the Mongol Messenger an English Language newspaper here in Ulaanbaatar.  They are traditional Mongolian cures for whatever ails ya....  These are not endorsed by me or the Assemblies of God, and if you take any of these, it is at your own risk.

Sty: Touch eye with opposite knee seven times.

For Aching Teeth: Put one drop of animal urine on the sore tooth.

Infant Pneumonia: Wrap the chest of the child in a vodka-soaked bandage.

Constipation: Ingest half a cup of warmed urine, preferably from an eight-year-old-girl.

Woman with a crick in the neck: Kneel before a handsome man and bow your head to his knee. The pain will be gone within 24 hours.

Sore eyes and ears: Place one drop of animal urine no the sore eye/ear.

Nervous shaking condition: Collect dried-out old animal bones from the open steppe and boil them, then place in a bath. Bathe in this mixture for seven days.

Scars: Lightly rub a drop of animal or human urine on the scar for several days.

Tuberculosis: Drink copious qualities of airag from a white mare.

Babies too frightened to sleep at night: Put large salt crystals into the coals of the fire.  When it sizzles hang the child over the coals. If this sounds a bit precarious try drawing a mark of black ash (taken from the bottom of a saucepan) on the baby's middle forehead.

Fever: Ingest half a cup of warmed urine from a reddish-brown cow.

Warts: Tie red cotton thread around the wart and then carefully remove the thread and hang it on the hinge of a door. After a few days the wart will disappear.

Insanity: Ingest half a cup of warm urine, preferable from a fox. If that sounds a little hard to digest (even if you are mad), then try slaughtering an owl, falcon, bear, tiger, wolf, fox, or lynx then boil and eat the meat immediately. Another alternative is to cut the underarm hair from a human arm pit, or the hair from under a bear's tail, then burn it. Take the ash, mix with water and ingest.

Dog bite: Take some hair from the guilty dog, burn it then place it on the wound.

Big warts: Rub with a dirty old animal bone.

Sore throat: Suck on a copper rod for two or three days.

Diabetes: Warm a small portion of copper to a reddish color. Crush it to powder then ingest.

High blood pressure: Every day stroke the back of a cat and then eat two cloves of garlic. A short-term alternative is to put either parsnip or raw mutton on the sole of the foot and then leave there for eight hours.

Broken arm/finger: Vigorously polish the inside of a copper bracelet or ring then wear it on the broken bone for two hours

Mercury poisoning: Ingest half a cup of warm urine from a cow or horse.

Low blood pressure: Drink a cup of hot blood from a young goat.

Aching knee or ankle: Bathe in strong salted tea.

I did find out one other remedy from my language teacher....

Jaundice: Swallow a cow's eyeball.